It is however Dario Argento's worst film. (Well I haven't seen 'Giallo' yet and I've heard that's pretty bad).
Once upon a time this writer/director created such masterful things as 'Phenomena' and of course the 'Three Mothers Trilogy', even though the third of that was meant to be not that good either.
And then we get this. It feels like Dario really has stepped off the deep end and plummeted beneath the depths of (I can't even think of a word that describes what I'm after).
When we begin the film, after the lengthy credits and bad CGI streets we pretty much delve straight into pornographic territory as 5 minutes in a couple have very fake but very naked sex. I honestly didn't see the point in the whole scene at all. It tries to justify itself by giving a bit of story but they might as well just had sex and had done with it as it delivered nothing to stimulate the mind.
We then cut to Johnathon Harker coming to what I think is Transylvania even though I'm sure much of the written text is of a language foreign to there. I could be wrong as I'm no language connoisseur.
I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't Italian to be honest.
What we see after is basically the standard Dracula story set by Bram Stoker but with minor unimportant details changed.
Pros: Rutger Hauer.
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Oh and it finishes.
With Rutger Hauer playing Dracula in an older film 'Dracula 3' this time he steps in as Dracula's nemesis Abraham Van Helsing. When Van Helsing finally appears about an hour in, he brings the acting with him. He is as expected the best part of the film and really the only one who can act.
So yeah, summing up, pretty much everything.
Nobody in the film could act, other than Rutger Hauer the closest to decent acting was Asia Argento and even she seems to have forgotten how to act.
But when Rutger came on the scene it was as if everybody (but Asia) stepped up a notch like they were trying to impress him.
The worst actor by far though was the lass who played the Vampire ''lady''. She just came across as a spoiled bratty child who got her own way to finally be in a movie after 20 odd years.
I've lost myself, sorry. I was yearning for something else when watching the film and am now yearning for something else just from talking about the film. To be honest I'm surprised if you have even read this far.
I better end the review here then really. And what is Dario's obsession of getting his daughter naked in his films???
In all no it doesn't deserve 2 fangs.
It get's 1 and a half fangs, the half for Rutger Hauer.